"Ma and Pa Harry, paternal grandparents"


The night before Joshua died, he’d stopped into his grandma’s house to pick up his guitar. He left about 10:30pm saying he was going to a friend’s house.

His grandparents followed him outside and watched his car disappear down the road. When they looked up the hill towards our house, they saw a bright beautiful star hovering upon our roof. They watched it until it got too cold and then they watched it out the window. It still shined when they went to bed. It was the last time they saw Joshua alive. Was the star a sign of heaven? How I hope.

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She said she dreamed that Josh walked in with handcuffs on. He told her she had to help him get out. I asked her how she did it and she said with a hacksaw. She said he was laughing and giggling as she cut him free. Then he told her he was hungry.

(Was this yet another symbol of being free?)

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My sister and her husband and I were sitting in the livingroom talking when I saw someone go around the house. We thought it was Harry coming back from fishing. But no one ever came in . I looked out every window and no one was there. I'm sure it was Josh.

Another time, my sister Rose was sitting in the livingroom with her family and I was in the kitchen. She said, "Bobby's out on the porch."

Again when we looked no one was there. She said he walked past the door and described him as having a black T-shirt and blue jeans on. Most of Josh's shirts were black with Rock n Roll greats on them and he always wore blue jeans or shorts.

By Rebecca Conrad

“Mom and Dad’s STRANGE HAPPENINGs”


The week after Josh’s passing both TV’s came on by themselves. And that has happened a few times since.

It seems when I’m down he has someone to call me to make me feel better.

I’m also followed by a blue butterfly. I was at the lake with my mom, sister and nephew. Mom told me there was a little blue butterfly fluttering around us. It stayed until we left. This happened twice at the lake.

The first time the blue butterfly appeared was in my front yard and Tyler, my nephew was trying to catch it, but it was too quick.

His dad swears that he heard Joshua’s voice one morning, telling him to get up someone was coming. He got up and looked but no one was there. But a few minutes later a friend of his called.

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Mom’s First Dream

It was about two weeks after Joshua died that I dreamed about him. We were in the backseat of a friends’s SUV. The thing is this friend, Debbie has also lost her son a month before me. Here we four were headed to watch a movie. I kept chattering to Josh but he just sat there. In life , he was a talker, but in the dream he sat quiet. I had no thought of him being dead in this dream. But I trruely felt his presence so completely beside me.




Mom’s Second Dream

I was in my maternal grandma’s house. This house had been torn down for over 35 years for a dam and lake to be built. It was on Riffle’s Run. Now part of it is a campground.

Anyway, I was surrounded by family and in Josh walked. I asked, “Josh! Where have you been? I’ve missed you so much.”

“I joined the army,” he said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He walked around me and said, “Cause you wouldn’t let me.”

**I take two things from this dream. One Joshe is with my beloved grandma, Mom Riffle, known as Babe. And in real life he, physically could not have ever joined the army because of his disease. I felt he was telling me that he’s in perfect health now.


Mom’ Third Dream

Joshua, his dad and I were in some kind of hospital room. Josh was sobbing and sobbing. I knew they were going to do something really bad and painful to him. His dad and I were trying to comfort him. He never said a word, just sobbed.

***I took from this dream that Joshua was telling me, “Mom, I just can’t take it any more.”


Mom's Fourth Dream

This dream was kind of fuzzy. All I can really remember was Josh and I were at my mom’s house. But I could once again feel him so close.


Mom's Fifth Dream

I was standing in my kitchen with Josh, two of his friends and three girls. They were all excited telling me about an amusement park they were going to.

***Josh I hope you found the girl in Heaven that you never found on earth.


I’ve more dreams where his presence is so strong and comforting. But after waking up, I knew he was here but couldn’t remember the dream. I hope they will be more.


More Dreaming...

It was about the middle of August when I dreamed that Josh and his dad had went to a festival or something. I found them and Josh was really sick. He’d not had cornstarch or food. I immediately blamed his dad. Suddenly we were back at home and his dad was fixing breakfast. I could see Josh laying in bed and I went in and told him he had to start taking better care of himself or he’d die. I followed him into the kitchen and started blaming his dad again. Clearly I heard Josh say, “Mom, it’s my fault.” When I first woke I thought he was really still in his bed. Then the nightmare set in and I couldn’t shake the realness of his presence. A couple weeks later I once again woke thinking we had a second chance. Again it was devastating to realize he wasn’t here any more. Again this dream was so vivid.

Grandma Kay...


Lights have dimmed and flickered in different rooms. I’ve found doors open that I knew I’ve shut.

I had a dream of Josh’s hands showing me green chapstick. The only think I can figure was that he was telling me he’d stoled my chapstick like he often did.

He loved my chapsticks.

I went to Becky’s one sunny afternoon and saw Bobby in the front yard reaching up into a bush. It looked like he was picking a flower. He had on a black T shirt and blue jeans. When I parked and got out he was gone. When I walked into the kitchen Bobby was sitting there with Becky.

“How did you get in here so fast?”

Bobby looked at me puzzled, “From where? I’ve been in here for a while.”

As soon as he left the room, I asked Becky, “Was he really in here?”

“Yes, Mom.”

I feel Joshua appeared in the yard that day to let me know he’s okay and to let his mom know it too.

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Mom has been staying with me since Joshua’s dad died September 20 at night. She always sleeps in Josh’s room. His stereo’s power has never been turned off. I guess either no one knows how or just forgets about it. Grandma Kay says words lite up across the bottom of the stereo that says “Welcome and then Goodbye” and it’s kind of a night lite for her. One morning “I woek up and it was really dark. I thought the electric was off. Then I glance down to the clock on the night stand and it was on. I shut my eyes and laid there for a few minutes and when I looked the stereo had lit back up.” Then a few days later, she got up and came into the kitchen and said, “There’s something going on around here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I took my glasses off when I go to bed but never fold them. It seems to make the legs weak. Anyway I laid them on the night stand and went to bed. This morning I was sitting on the edge of the bed and looked over at the TV and there my glasses laid folded nicely. It had to be Josh!”

Her lights also go off and on. She says his lamp stays on in his room 90% of the time. We also find his door open at times.

Here is my "Happening"
By Lynn Nezin

I was coming home from work to my apartment in Seattle. The sun had just set and the street was very quiet. As I approached the parking lot in front of my apartment, I saw something wedged on the wrought iron fence. As I got closer, I realized it was a broken acoustic guitar. It seemed as though someone had given up and abandoned their instrument. The first thought that went through my mind was, "Joshua." I checked to see if the guitar could be salvaged, but it was too badly damaged. I went upstairs, and about an hour later, when I was checking my email on my Blackberry, there was a message from my friend Lori, the mother of an 8 year old with GSD, asking me if I had seen the post from Becky about Josh's death. At the time he came to mind, when I first saw the guitar, I had no idea that he had been ill or that he had passed away.

I am the mother of a son, Casey, with GSD who is a year younger than Josh. The boys had written to each other when they were much younger, but finally met at a national GSD conference about four years ago, and played guitar together. Despite having a son who is a guitarist, as well as two brothers who play professionally, the only name that came into my mind when I saw the broken guitar, was "Josh." I do believe I was being given a sign about his tragic death. Our entire community shares the pain of his loss with his family, and his death is a painful reminder to us that all of our childrens' lives hang in the balance every day.

On June 1st, 2009, Karin Fuller wrote a poignant article on the pain and sorrow of loss.
You may read it on her blog site - "A Rare Medium"
And, On June 18th, 2009 - Revisiting Rare Mediums - "Rosemary's Gift"