Joshua's Friends

When the phone would ring playing "Star Spangled Banner" I'd holler, "Josh! It's Bryan." I had my phone set to play certain tunes so I'd know the caller. And these days the calls always seem to be for Joshua.

Joshua grew up with Bryan. He loved his family. Joshua never failed to be invited to every cookout, holiday dinner, and birthdays.

The boys were third cousins and a few months apart in age. By the time they started preschool, Bryan, his mom Wanda, and stepdad Arnold moved across the creek from us. They were in walking distance now.

As the boys grew, Wanda had another son, Andy, who eventually was another brother to Josh.

Rarely did Joshua and Bryan do things alone. There always had to be an extra boy or two. My father-in-law watched the bon fires in the woods behind Wanda's. He'd tell my mother-in-law that they'd burn the hillside down one day. Their favorite past times were fires and camping out.

Shayn, Jeffery, Ethan, and Kenny became the hang out group at home and school. You rarely saw any of them alone.

In the winter they went sleigh riding and in the summer swimming. Shayn's mom took them to Fright Farm one Halloween. Josh loved it. Ethan's family took him camping, which Josh never forgot. He had a ball.

The crowd of boys were best friends. I'll never forget when watching the "Jackass" movie they made. Yes, it was stupid and dangerous but you couldn't help but smile, hearing the boys' heartfelt giggles.

They grew closer and closer as they went through high school. Joshua wasn't lonely anymore. I was thankful to these five football players for adopting my son as one of them.

Josh had a special relationship with each one. Josh was amazed by Kenny's always happy and smiling nature. He thought Jeffery a gentle and kind soul. He had a great time at the sleepover at Jeffery's in the dead of winter. Shayn not only loved music as much as Josh, but at times felt as insecure. Josh and Shayn really bonded. Ethan is a story all by himself. My mom lived with his grandpa for fourteen years. I'd gone to school with his mom, dad, and graduated with his aunt. He was born on Josh's due date of October 8. They kind of knew each other but didn't really get close until late middle school and high school.

Even though Josh stayed at each boy's house, they seemed to cngregate at ours most of the time. I remember getting up in the middle of the night to give Josh his cornstarch and every couch, chair, and Josh's bed was filled with boys. I'd have to touch and ask, "Josh?" One night Shayn was still ahlf asleep and drank some of the cornstarch before asking, "Why did you make me drink that?" When Josh heard that story, he couldn't believe it.

We were the proudest parents watching "our boys" graduate together on May 23, 2008. It was hard to believe they were all grown up. It was sad that they would be going their own ways soon.

I'll never forget listening to the message left on the phone for Joshua, October 9, 2008. "Josh, I had a boy!" As Josh repeated what Bryan said, I asked, "Are you kidding?" The ultrasound had told them it was a girl. Immediately, Josh wanted to buy a couple outfits for the new baby, since everything they had was pink. He picked out the clothes himself and dropped them off at the hospital that evening on his way to electrical class.

Joshua was thrilled to become little Lance's uncle. He even bragged to me that Lance was trying to crawl at three months. He loved the baby.

Tragically, Joshua died when Lance was only four months old to the day. I hope Bryan and all his friends keep Joshua's memory alive for Lance.

I want to thank all the boys for being such good and constant friends to my son.

Jerid and Belinda

I sat at my desk listening to chunks of ice cracking along with boyish giggles. Joshua and Jerid played in the rain barrel. The temperature outside was in the teens! But the kids didn’t mind.

Jerid was my first cousin but was born just two years before Josh. They were as close as brothers. Jerid had a sister, Belinda one year younger and she was always on the fringes of the boys games. We did so many things together.

For years we trick or treated with all three. Joshua always made up his costumes. He liked comfort. Jerid got to the point he wouldn’t even wear one. Belinda, on the other hand loved dressing up. My favorite was of her being a witch. We have a picture of her that Holioween.

Jerid seemed to spend every holiday with us. He usually stayed until Christmas Eve and then he went home to open his presents. As soon as the gifts were open they were on the phone bragging about what they received. Then the day after Christmas Jerid was back to stay a few more days of their break.

They enjoyed taking turns riding in the Little Tyke car while the other two pushed. We fondly called it the Fred Flinstone car. We went to fairs and watched Fourth of July fireworks every summer. Sometimes we’d buy firworks/crackers and set them off at Josh’s Gra’ma's house on the railroad tracks.

We’d go to the Burnsville Lake for walks and fishing trips. The boys loved riding their bikes and swimming at the dam.

They would sit in Josh’s room for hours playing video games. Josh was flustered because Jerid was so good. Then came Guitar Hero and Josh was a natural with his music ability.

The boys grew up. Jerid finished high school first and took a job away from home. He sometimes took Josh down to spend the night. Josh really enjoyed these times. Jerid was still around but not as much.

Jerid joined the Navy and a short time later my Joshua died. The military wouldn’t let Jerid come home for Josh’s funeral. But the first leave he had, he visited Bobby and me. I cried.

Belinda too moved away for a while. She and Josh became super close in middle school. One day Josh came home so happy. “Mom, I’m popular now all because of Belinda.” She was a bubbly happy teen and drew Josh right into her group. She also spoke at Josh’s funeral. Through tears, she said, “Josh was my cousin and I loved him. I wouldn’t let anyone be mean to him.”

I love you both and thanks for being a part of Josh’s life

More Friends

I can’t tell the story of Joshua’s friends without mentioning Cory. Josh and he met in preschool and it was Cory’s house that Josh had his first over night visit. We have a picture of them in the bathtub together at age five.

The two most of the time had so much in common. Pam, Cory S mom loved Josh like her own. Josh thought her so cool because she talked to him as if he was an adult. She never hestated taking Josh with them and buying things for him. They’d go to the mall, out to eat, see a movie and lots of visits to Toys Are Us.

Joshua also grew close to Cory S grandma Kay and Grandpa Drex. They also treated him like another grandchild. I know Josh loved them the same.

Pam and Cory’s dad, Rick divorced. Rick too accepted Josh without hesitation. I’ll never forget one time Josh spent the night and got stung by a wasp. Rick told him to quit whining and get over it. I could hear Rick saying this. No spoiling at his house.

Pam remarried and Ray and his son Brandon came into Josh’s life. I thank Ray for waking Josh up in the morning for cornstarch and telling him to get up and get it himself. At least he never forgot and wanted Josh to become more responsible.

The three boys swam in Pam’s pool, rode their four wheelers and went fishing every chance they got.

Cory found an interest in the electric guitar when Josh picked it up. Josh told me many times he was amazed by Cory’s talent. They loved jamming in the bacement. I can only imagine how loud two electric guitars were. It’s a wonder someone didn’t call Kay and Pam to complain about the boys disturbing the peace.

The day of their high school graduation, the boys rode in Cory’s sooped up truck, Rick had given him for graduating. Cory also followed Josh into the electrical program the following fall.

Again, I want to thank these special people for including Joshua in their lives.

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