I Remember Josh

The first time I met Josh, Becky, Karin Fuller, Terry McNemar, and I met at Sutton Lake for a Sunday afternoon writing workshop. Josh and his father dropped Becky off. Josh was shy, reluctant to meet this teacher who was his mother's friend. I could almost read the words on his face: Who'd want to be friends with a teacher?

Becky was awarded a Literary Fellowship from the state. At the ceremony writers were asked to read their works. Since Becky's blindness prevented her from reading, she asked me to read her essay. At this event, Josh warmed up to me and told his mother: "She just might be all right."

Later I visited the Conrads' home and met Duke, Josh's beloved redbone hound. As I played with and petted this large, gentle dog, Josh became more at ease with me and treated me like a treasured guest. He carried my overnight bag and loaded my car with flowers from his mother's green house.

Then Duke disappeared. Josh, his father, and Grandpa Harry searched roadside ditches, brushy hillsides, and mountain paths for weeks. No sign of the friendly redbone was ever found. It was as if he had never existed. Josh was desolate; his best friend, his companion was gone.

Looking for a redbone puppy, Becky, Karin and I searched the internet for weeks. We located a litter in northern Ohio, and I picked up the pup, kept him overnight, and delivered him to Josh. When he saw the pup, Josh's eyes brimmed over, and his smile would've lit up a mountain cave. I'd almost swear the dog smiled too.

One evening Josh played the guitar for me. Even though I am musically illiterate, I recognized he was a talented musician. It seemed as if even the birds hushed to listen.

Josh was a human teenager, and he'd sometimes complain about the liver disease that plagued him, his classes, his parents. I'd joke him out of it, remind him of people who'd faced worse, threaten to move in so I could tutor him in subjects he detested. He'd laugh but he often took my advice.

After high school Josh entered trade school. He loved his electrical classes and excelled in them. I praised him, and I know that praise meant a lot to him. I had high hopes for his future.

But on February 9, 2009, his grandmother called. Becky had found Josh dead. I felt like a tractor trailer had hit me.

There will always be a dark cave in my life where Josh should be. But I'll try to imagine him healthy, laughing and running through a sunny meadow with his beloved Duke by his side. That would be his idea of heaven.

"I cried while writing this, but it seemed to be something I needed to do."
by Wilma Acree, for Joshua

Josh was my 2nd cousin and I spent most of my teenage years with him. I spent all that time with him because I loved to be around him. He constantly had me laughing so hard I would cry, that was the way he was though. Even if me and him would get into an argument, I would try to be upset with him but he would always find a way to get me laughing again. His smile and laugh was so powerful that there was no disliking Josh. When Josh and I and all of our friends would get together and go camping he was the one that made the experience so great. I have so many memorys of Josh that I will never forget, and I wouldn't take the world over them. I LOVED him and miss him so much, he meant alot to me. When I walked into Becky's house and his room for the first time since his death, I was mugged by so many memories it was almost too much to bear. Josh I will never forget the fun we shared. Becky and Bobby I love you both and I am sorry I couldn't be there when Josh died, that still eats at me everyday.

by Jerid Riffle

Josh was my great nephew. He loved his music and was very talented. I wasn't around Josh much when he was a baby but I remember when he got his tonsils out. He told me it reall hurt because, he said, "The doctors yanked them out and it almost killed him!". What a big imagination he had. I drove Josh to school when he missed the bus. We had some wonderful talks about different things.That was one thing Josh was not short of imagination. He loved to talk.

He also love deer meat. I gave him some deer burger and said if I knew where he could get more.

Josh will always be remembered in my heart and I'm sure he's touched so many other hearts while he was here. He's missed by so many.

Love, Aunt Cooter
Rose Riffle
In Loving Memory of Josh 9/26/09

I Knew Josh since the age of 4. From the moment I met him I knew he was one in a million. I had the pleasure of watching him grow into a fine young man that I knew one day he would become. My son and Josh were good friends and I had the pleasure of having him at my home often. I cannot even begin to tell about Josh because there are so many wonderful memories that would take forever to tell. There is no one who is like him, or will ever be. I loved him dearly. I miss him terribly. I think of him everyday with laughter, because that is what Josh was to me. He always made me smile and laugh, as he did to everyone who was around him. His personality was so contageous. I am so saddened at such a wonderful persons life that was cut way to short. I love you Josh, and I miss you. Please Pray that the pain for his family will become less. I cannot even imagine what they are going through. I love you Becky.

by Pamela Blake

Thank you for the time Josh spent with us in evening electricity class. His presence warmed our hearts with laughter. Every day he reminded me how important getting his license so he could get a job close to home. We will miss him in our lives.

by Mike Murray and Fred Eberle, teachers

Becky, dear, I can't imagine what you're going through--I don't even want to imagine. In many ways, you did lose your world. At least nineteen years of it. Josh was irreplaceably precious to you. The only positive thing I can find in this whole ordeal is that you will see him, again, in heaven. And that time, it's for eternity. He will never be taken from you, again! In the meantime, all you can do is make sense of why you were chosen for this challenge. A lot of other parents have suffered this same ordeal, as well. You're a writer, Becky. Do you think this is something you can write about? Can you use your experience to help other mothers who will face this same tragedy? Or other sufferers of Joshua's disease? Can you write about it and put something out there that another person can use as a crutch during a similar event?

I believe in my heart that God doesn't make mistakes. He chose the time to carry Joshua to his heavenly home. Who knows, He might have saved your son from a worse fate, from future devastation by his disease. Now, it's up to you to move onward. I can't fathom how tough that will be for you. But I do know that thousands of people attest to the fact that you feel better when you help others. Right now, you may feel as though you can't help anyone, but I know that you can, because I've seen your heart, and I know it's a beautiful thing. I know you have it in you to help another mother who has just lost a child. Perhaps you can speak in a workshop or to a group of other mothers who are grieving, and share your experience, so you can heal together. Or, perhaps you can write an article for a magazine about your son's battle. I'm betting his doctor could give you the name of a few magazines that would be interested in it. Or even a parenting magazine would want something like that! So many people need to hear about Joshua's struggle, and how courageous he was, right through to the end.

All I know is that you're one of the strongest, most courageous woman I know, and if anyone can pull through this terrible time, it's you!

I hope you decide to come to conference, even for a day. I'm planning to attend, and I've already bought my airline ticket to come up there. I'd love to see you while I'm there, Becky. I know plenty of other people would love to see you, as well. You have no idea what an inspiration you are to the members of WV Writers. Seeing you there would touch many hearts, I know. You've got so much to offer, sister. We all look up to you; your strength, your courage, your wry humor, your friendship, and your writing ability. You make all of us stronger by your presence in our lives.

Any time you want to talk, give me a call. I'll never push you to talk, but when you're ready, I'm here to listen.

I love you and I'm keeping you in my prayers,

Hugs, Rhonda

NOTE: The following 3 items are written by one of Josh's (his favorite) school counselor.


Dear Becky,

Sorry this is so late. If there is anything that you might like to have worded differently just let me know and I can change it. Seems like it was yesterday that he graduated. I like to think of it as he graduated twice in the same year, with the second one being to a much higher place.

As I have said before. I will never forget your son. He was a great guy.

Sincerely, Jeff

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During my tenure at Braxton County High school, some students have impressed me more than others. Josh was one of them. I have been asked by Josh’s family to share some of my experiences, having been fortunate enough to have known Josh during his 4-years at BCHS.

Josh taught me a few things about strength and determination during those years. He came into this world bearing a personal struggle that was not thoroughly understood. Josh was born with Glycogen Storage Disease, or (GSD). Like most people, when I first heard of GSD I had no clue of what it was. Josh’s doctor from Florida, Dr. Weinstein, gave me a brief overview and it was something like this. Josh was missing an enzyme which is responsible for releasing sugar from the liver between meals. It is a very serious disease and in short, requires a big change of eating habits. Josh had to eat high carbohydrate snacks every two hours between meals and he had to drink corn starch at specific intervals, both day and night. This required that he be awakened at 2:00 A.M. each night and again at 7:00 A.M. to have the corn starch drinks. He had problems waking up to an alarm clock so his mother had to get up to give it to him. As one could imagine, this was a never ending and stressful burden on Josh and his family. If Josh missed a dose of corn starch his blood glucose levels spiked and this left him out of balance for most the next 24 hours. If this strict regiment was altered for too long, Josh would sometimes end up in the E.R. Once this stage of imbalance was reached, he often had to be given glucose intravenously. Even when it was possible to reasonably manage the disease, Josh still had great difficulty controlling his blood glucose levels. Besides the short-term effects of glucose highs and lows (fatigue, sweating, nausea, etc.), when he was out of balance for too long, lactic acid would build up in his body, which caused severe muscle cramps and exhausting drops in energy. Basically, Josh never seemed to be really comfortable.

Even with burden that GSD was, Josh managed to graduate from high school and while there, he earned a Completer Certificate in electrical wiring. Josh also had the distinction of passing the Apprentice Licensure exam while still in high school.

Looking back, I recall one day in particular, I think it was sometime during Josh’s 10th grade year. I had seen him with an acoustic guitar during lunchtime. He was playing it in the hallway with some of his friends gathered around. At the time, it was a bit obvious that he was, just beginning to learn to play. But he looked cool playing that guitar while wearing a retro, tie-dyed tee shirt. He really liked those retro tee-shirts.

Time passed and things changed. Fast forward to his senior year and it was an altogether different situation. I was in my office, which is fortunately located right beside the band room, when I heard some students playing a song that sounded really good, but was one that I had never heard it before. It sounded new and appeared to have been influenced by some the rock groups of the 1980’s. I got up from the computer and walked down the hallway to see who these young musicians were. Looking in from the door, I saw a couple of guys with guitars, another was on the drums, and there stood Josh, expertly playing a winged looking guitar and singing into a microphone. I was awed. I just couldn’t believe my eyes or ears. But, after I thought about what a great musician Josh’s father is, it all made sense. Josh was a natural and he certainly had the attention of the other students in the band room. After that, Josh was more enthused about bringing his guitar to school. I occasionally saw him get high-fives as he walked down the hall from his new band room friends.

The last conversation that Josh and I had was shortly before his graduation. Things seemed to be coming together for him. He had earned all of the necessary academic credits for a high school diploma. He had just completed his senior project. Josh had chosen as his project to write and perform a song for several students and a few teachers. He had recently gotten his drivers license and had taken a date to the senior prom. As excited as he was, he still seemed tired, too tired. The GSD was not about to let go. It never did.

Josh’s passing left a void but he also left behind memories and friends, more friends than he realized. This was very evident by the huge turnout at his funeral.

Josh impressed me the most with his kindness and consideration of others. He suffered a great deal of the time but if someone needed help he was there, ready to lend a hand, no questions asked. I will never forget Josh Conrad.

Jeffrey Bright

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Dear Becky,

It was an honor to have been asked to write this, just as it was an honor to have been able to talk with Josh.

I sincerely believe that there is another dimension on the other side where we all meet again. And I think that religion is not a big part of it, in that it is there with or without any specific path.

My best, Jeff

Remembrances and condolences continued on PAGE 2
GSD Remembrances and condolences continued on PAGE 3